Trusting God Through Fears, Big and Small

Proverbs 3:5-6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
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Fear can show up in the strangest places. For me, it’s driving through a car wash. I can’t pinpoint exactly when this fear began, but it has lingered for years—small, nagging, persistent. It’s the kind of fear that makes me anxious over the machines, the tracks, even the attendant giving directions. For a long time, I avoided car washes unless someone was with me, holding my hand, and I never really understood why.

Looking back, though, I can see the thread that ties it all together—and it isn’t really about the car wash at all.
When I got my first truck, my dad taught me how to hand wash it at a self-service car wash. I prayed I had enough quarters and that I could finish in time, and those moments became special—a way to spend time together. Later, washing my truck became an errand I shared with my best friend on weekends. Back then, it was fun, not frightening, because she was with me.
As I grew older, I switched to automatic car washes. The errand became less frequent as my friend had other plans, and I found myself avoiding it.
In 2023, I bought a brand-new truck. Never in my life did I think I could afford one, and I am so thankful that God made a way. I told myself I had to wash it often—not just because it’s dark grey and shows every speck of dirt, but because it’s a blessing from the Lord. Colossians 3:23-24 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters…”
It might sound silly to say that about a truck, but while it’s in my care, it’s my responsibility to honor God by taking care of it. I even got a car wash membership and promised myself I’d wash it weekly. Did that happen? Not immediately.
Only recently did I start to understand why this mattered so much.
I’m in a season of growth and waiting, and it’s been challenging. I lost a close friend who didn’t share my faith—a friend I had depended on for years. That loss forced me to confront my codependency. I realized I had rarely made plans on my own, allowed someone else’s worldview to influence many decisions, and leaned on a friendship that wasn’t equally yoked in faith. I love her dearly, but this season has shown me how necessary independence and God-centered relationships are.
Though my faith has always been part of my life, it wasn’t until my baptism in 2023 that I truly began to understand the depth of a personal relationship with Jesus. Looking back, I see that my fear of the car wash reflected a deeper fear of letting go. I would only go if she was in the truck with me or on the phone to coach me through it. Now I realize that my anxiety stemmed from depending on someone else instead of placing my trust fully in God.
Spending time alone has taught me that I am never truly alone. I talk to Jesus constantly, seeking His guidance rather than worldly opinions. I’m learning to make decisions and face fears with Him by my side.
This season of waiting extends to my personal life as well. I’m almost 29 and have no suitors, but for the first time, I feel ready to date with the goal of marriage. God has opened my eyes to what a godly marriage might look like and how to discern a partner wisely. I’ve learned that if marriage is in my future, I must submit to God’s design for the roles of husband and wife—something I now see in the example of my parents.
Through all of this, I feel growth—like seeds taking root and beginning to sprout. Last week, I drove my truck through a car wash alone for the first time. I prayed aloud, spent twenty minutes vacuuming and detailing, and felt a peace and contentment I hadn’t experienced before. It was actually fun!
Codependency with someone not equally yoked can hold you back, but seasons of separation can teach you more about yourself and God’s plan than you ever imagined.
I’m starting this blog to share my journey in faith and to encourage you to share yours as well.
Have you ever been codependent on someone you shouldn’t have been? Or struggled with a fear you couldn’t understand? How did God help you through it?
What is your car wash story?